It’s just about 9:30, and all of the children are fast asleep. Aaron is working late, tonight, and I am alone. Just me, the dehydrator, and my nightly kitchen routine.
I don’t like being alone, tonight. Late fall is always a season of struggle for me, as the sun passes away for the winter. Frankly, I’m tempted to put on a comedy, and forget, for awhile, how stressed I am, right now. But morning looms, and with it 6 hungry children. If I don’t make breakfast now, I’ll pay later.
Ideally, I make breakfast every night. It’s a habit I’ve only learned in the past month or so, when breakfast became oh-so-much more complex. We got one of our children tested for food sensitivities, and predictably, eggs and dairy topped the list.
I’m a whole-foods Momma, and this news seriously messed up my routine. When we got the results, I was purchasing 8 gallons of milk, a gallon of cream, and 6 dozen eggs, straight from the farmers, every WEEK. Even with 6 children, that’s a lot of eggs and dairy. I also purchased cheese by the 5-lb block, at the rate of 1-2 a month.
We (ideally) only eat humanely-raised meats: Pastured or free range poultry, and Grass-fed beef and lamb. Oddly enough, raising animals in a way that does not fly in the face of God’s revealed will, through nature and His word, costs more than treating them like inanimate protein-production units. So, our meat is expensive. We try to eat it once a day, at most, and then sparingly.
So, what on earth to do about breakfast? Oatmeal lasts my children about 10 minutes. (Did I mention that they have their mother’s long-lost super-fast metabolism?) Cold cereal is poison. Soy is generally GMO, and even if it isn’t, I’m not playing that game with my children’s hormones. We need protein!
The answer to my breakfast dilemma is two-fold: Nuts (expensive!) and Beans (Cheap!). Guess which one is my favorite. And so I’ve been experimenting with our existing bean dessert recipes, trying to turn them into breakfasts that truly nourish my family. And I need to do it fast—before they get up and start to fall apart at the seams because they’re ravenous, and breakfast is still cooking. The only way to have breakfast ready for 6 (actually 5, since Chastity is exclusively breastfed.) fast enough is to cook it the night before.
While I’m making breakfast, I soak things, sprout others, dehydrate something, start a stock simmering, and try to remember to clean something before I’m through. Generally, I give up and get to bed after I’ve started 10 projects, finished 4, and trashed the entire kitchen. I may wake up to a mess, but at least we have something to eat.
Oh—and I should probably get back to that…..
But first: The stress? I’ve been “strong” for some years, in that clenching your teeth, squaring your shoulders, and carrying-on-in-spite-of sort of way. And now, the reasons I was steeling myself are passing away before my eyes. And so, I’ve let down my guard. The problem: I’m in that lull in oomph that comes between laying down a false strength, and regaining the strength that only God can provide. I’ve almost passed through the Valley of Baca, and laid down the old. But how, now, do I pass INto His strength? While I meditate on this problem, I’m still the center of the wheel, around here. Sometimes, I wish I could just walk away, and find some time to gather the pieces of myself back together, before pressing on. But now is not the time. For the moment, I am alone.
My answer lies here:
Blessed is the man whose strength is in thee; in whose heart are the ways of them.
Who passing through the valley of Baca make it a well; the rain also filleth the pools.
They go from strength to strength, every one of them in Zion appeareth before God.
Please pray with me that I finish this race.
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