Elimination Communication: Walking in Step with your Baby

Chastity pottying with Daddy.

I am a mother of 6, and I am potty-training my 2 year old, fifth child. And I’ve learned something. I still have no clue how to potty train a toddler without tormenting the child, and myself. It takes me about a year of agony to manage. I feel the presence of Brazelton and Freud in my mind, threatening me with the cost of my child’s therapy if I mess them up teaching them to use a toilet.

But no more!

With my sixth child, I have finally decided to embrace an Ancient Truth. Babies are born toilet trained. Forget everything you’ve ever been told about potty training. It’s a lie meant to keep you purchasing over-priced, environment-thrashing hygiene products.

Chastity, my second daughter and sixth child, was born this summer. When I was pregnant with her, I read up on Elimination Communication (EC) which I had read various little articles and websites about since my first pregnancy. “This time,” I swore, “I’m going to do this.”

EC made sense to me. Whenever I picture my ancestors, moving west in covered wagons, I just can’t imagine them pulling off to the side of the Oregon Trail to wash a bucket of diapers. Yeah, right!

Still, with no one else around me trying EC, it was hard to get started. And parenting Chastity had its challenges, without trying to start EC, or so I thought. About 2 weeks after Chastity was born, she began to have horrific “colic,” which kept me up nights, and made her unpleasant throughout the day, as well.

About 6 weeks later, I got low on diapers, and decided to finally give “EC” a shot. I contacted a Twitter-friend named Shae, the only person I had any personal relationship who’d done it, and got a few tips that made it all seem do-able.

This choice saved me many a sleepless hour. As soon as I removed Chastity’s diapers, I discovered that she was crying before she pee’d. Every time. In addition, if she was left in the pee, she continued to cry, growing more and more frustrated every minute. Before we EC’d, she would grow more and more frustrated, swallowing air as she cried, making herself gassy, and therefore, crying more.

Within a week of removing my baby’s diapers, I had been pee’d and pooped on numerous times, but I had discovered a contented baby.

For the first 2-4 weeks of our elimination communication journey, we kept Chastity’s diapers off, and kept a potty bowl or cup on hand to catch her waste. We tried to make the same cueing sound each time she went. This was a good place to start. Our clothing was saved by a generous supply of chux pads, which were provided by a neighbor who receives them as part of her dialysis supplies.
We soon grew tired of lost, spilled and awkward potty vessels, and moved her pottying to the bathroom sink.


Chastity and Daddy smiling and Talking to one another in the mirror while she potties.

Moving to the bathroom sink has its benefits and its costs. The biggest benefit is pictured, above. Potty time is happy time. The cost. Well, picture yourself as the strange, disgusting hippy chick whose infant just pooped in a public restroom sink. It washes out, world! And I promise, I wash it. EVERY TIME!

When Chastity hits about 6 months old, and is ready to sit up, I plan to move her to the toilet for her potty trips, and it’s all down-hill from there.

EC has challenged and changed me as a mother. Forever. Never again can I believe that babies don’t care about their own hygiene. Never again can I be an all-or-nothing, perfectionistic parent. We have “on” days, and we have “off” days with EC, just like any other aspect of parenting. I’m learning to relax, smile, and enjoy the journey. Even when I get pooped on.

(As an added bonus, it’s sure speeding up the potty-training process with her 2 year-old brother, who no longer has a hesitant, apologetic mother begging him to use the toilet. I’m matter-of-fact and confident. The sort of parent who gets results. And he’s kind of noticed that he’s the only one around here still using his pants. Peer pressure can be a good thing!)